Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. I John 4:11
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Philippians 2:4
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:25
Trying to save your independence after you’re married defrauds your spouse and costs you the happiness God intended for you.
Losing yourself in marriage blesses you, your spouse, your children, and your church. This does not mean giving up individuality. Opposites attract; God gives spouses different gifts. They have to learn to depend on each other, belong to each other, and use their strengths to balance each other’s weaknesses as they weave themselves into each other’s lives. The individual strands of a rope are clearly visible as they work together to handle the load.
A woman would much rather give herself to her husband than have him take her. A man would rather support his wife out of love than have her take from him. Your spouse doesn’t deserve you giving yourself; neither do you. Having spouses devote themselves to each other is a gift of God’s grace and each spouse.
As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. I Peter 4:10
We’re supposed to pass God’s grace on in ministry to others, especially spouses. When lost people see God’s people passing God’s undeserved grace back and forth, they want some for themselves. This builds the church. If, on the other hand, lost people see Christians divorcing and know that we can’t handle this life any better than they can, why should they care what we say about the life to come?
Divorce wrecks our testimony.